Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize