I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
