Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
