sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
