I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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