Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
