This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
