I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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