We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
