i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
