its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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