i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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