My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
