He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
