in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
