two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
