Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
