My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
