You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
