I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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