Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
