he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
