I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I would fuck him just for his dog
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
