I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
