I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
