Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
