Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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