After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
