called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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