I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
