Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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