I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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