It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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