dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
