Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize