am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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