Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
