trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
