his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
