I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize