The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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