It's Friday. Sex?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
