I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
