i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
