i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I intend to get homeless drunk
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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