Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize