I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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