I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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