it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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