I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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