I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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