i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
