my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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