I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
