Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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