Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there was a trapeze. enough said
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
