My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize