forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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