No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
