If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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