You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
