You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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