u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
