So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize