So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
