I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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