i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
