He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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