I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
