your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
