She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Send help, water and tortillas.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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